Curious about former classmates? I was too.

August 15th, 2008

I get e-mails from time to time from Classmates. If you don’t know what that is, it is a website that lets you connect with former high school, college, and military friends. As my high school had their 20 yr. reunion this year (yikes!), our Classmates group has been active. I didn’t go to my reunion, but I have wondered from time to time what former friends have been up to.

So…I have gotten several messages over the last few months that folks have left messages on my Classmates page. The downer is that in order for you to see who sent you a note, you have to pay bucks. I really wish that Classmates had a “one day fee” where you could read notes and exchange e-mails. That would be nice. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work that way. The minimum membership is 3 months. I don’t need to be a member for 3 months. I just want to catch up with a few old friends. Talk about our kids and what life has been like.

I went on Classmates yesterday to look around. For some reason, I was curious and decided to look up my husband’s old girlfriend and my old boyfriend. Wow! People sure do change. When we are younger, we feel like we can’t live without someone, and then we are crushed when life doesn’t conform to our desires. I read both of their bios and realized that life turned out the way it should. Our first loves aren’t always the ones that we will spend our life with. Having a crush on someone doesn’t mean that they will become your mate.

I also looked up a dear guy friend of mine that I really missed when he graduated. He was extremely kind and always knew the right things to say. I remember starting to like him more then a friend in my junior year. I made the mistake of asking him to a dance. Our relationship changed after that and he distanced himself from me. I still wonder why that ever happened. Some friendships should stay just that – friends. I sent him a note saying how I have been and asking for his bio. I wonder if he knew how much losing his friendship hurt me back then.

I saw that one of my former classmates was diagnosed with cancer and had very little time to live. She was leaving behind a small son. How sad. I didn’t know her well, but I do remember her being as cute as a button and very nice.

I am still debating about the 3 month membership thing. I didn’t go to my class reunion because I was never part of the “in crowd”. I was an art nerd and didn’t fit in with the stereotypical groups. I just couldn’t see rubbing elbows with folks that didn’t care for me (or made fun of me) 20 yrs. ago. I wonder if I should fork out a few bucks and reconnect with those that were my friends. Maybe I can talk to my old friend again. I hope he is as happy in his life as I am in mine. I hope that he is happily married to a wonderful person too. Time sure does change who we are. Life is funny like that.

5 Responses to “Curious about former classmates? I was too.”

  1. Cynthia Says:

    I’ve never been to that site. Sounds interesting, but I don’t think I’d want to pay either. Can you look them up on Facebook instead?

  2. Shan Says:

    Not really sure about that. I did find out today that Classmates has a 7 day trial. HOWEVER, you have to give them your credit card number. If you don’t cancel within 7 days, they AUTOMATICALLY CHARGE your credit card for an entire year. You have to remember to cancel or you get zapped for $40. Yikes!

  3. jjabl Says:

    I hear you when you say that you weren’t part of the in crowd. I was (and still am) a nerd so I did not fit in either. I really have no desire to see or talk with but a few people from back then. I have one friend I do keep in contact with from back then. She was part of the ‘in-crowd’ and still is, but was my friend anyway. She tells me now that other kids would question her back then as to why I was one of her friends. I am glad she is still my friend and was a friend back then.
    We meet one time at a local restaurant in our graduation town. She invited others who are still local to come and thought it would be a ‘good time’. She is still local to there and takes care of ailing parents. One of the other ‘ladies’ there made the comment to me, “Hey,.., we will try not to treat you as badly as we did in high school.” Then she proceeded to turn her head and not speak to me the rest of the lunch time. Yeah, I have no desire to try and kindle relationships like that. It hurt back then and still does.

  4. Shan Says:

    I think time matures some people. However, other folks will always be the same. I was good with not be a participant of the “in crowd” in school. Part of it was that I was around 200lbs. when I was a senior. The other part was that I was an art nerd. I wasn’t pretty or popular. However, the friends that I had were special and accepted me for who I was. They didn’t judge my thrift store clothing or that I wasn’t a size 2. I liked that in a friend then, and I do now.

    For me, time has shown me to be more tolerant. However, the older I get, the more I don’t have time for stupid behaviour (i.e. making others feel badly about themselves, snide remarks, etc.) Life is just too short to hang around with those that make you feel like dirt.

    I really am toying with the idea of getting a 3 month membership. I have seen a few other “nerds” on our high school group that I would love to say “hello” to. I wonder if they are still nerdy too. In that, I haven’t changed much. LOL

  5. crystal Says:

    Hey Shannon, It’s Crystal, Steph’s friend. This was great! I love to read your blog, but this hit the nail on the head. I’ve come to realize that after years of wondering if these people were doing well, and i could show face, that i really triend to be one of “them” and sort of was; but not really…….
    So after all that, I really realized that I don’t like them, never have and could care less. It’s funny how they show up years later and ask the q’s and send best wishes, but really they just forgot how horrible and close minded they were. I love the friends thats i’ve gotten to know over the years and grown to love. They accept me and my husband for us and not from our past. Honestly, every persons life is a little more quirky because of those people, but it’s fun to observe how we’ve gotten just for being ourselves. Take care, and hope to see you soon!

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