22 Ways To Be A Good Democrat

October 29th, 2007

Got this in an e-mail today. I don’t usually post how I feel politically, but there are some interesting ideas here. Maybe that is why my husband and I are Libertarians? I am sure our founding fathers would love the state of things right now. Hmmm. (Let the angry retorts begin….)

22 Ways To Be A Good Democrat

1. You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on demand.
2. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.
3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans are more of a threat than U.S. Nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Chinese and North Korean communists.
4. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.
5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical documented changes in the earth’s climate and more affected by soccer moms driving SUV’s.
6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being homosexual is natural.
7. You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.
8. You have to believe that the same teacher who can’t teach fourth graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.
9. You have to believe that hunters don’t care about nature, but loony activists who have never been outside of San Francisco do.
10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.
11. You have to believe that Mel Gibson spent $25 million of his own money to make The Passion of the Christ for financial gain only.
12. You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.
13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.
14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Thomas Edison, and A.G. Bell.
15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides are not.
16. You have to believe that Hillary Clinton is normal and is a very nice person. Billary
17. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn’t worked anywhere it’s been tried is because the right people haven’t been in charge.
18. You have to believe conservatives telling the truth belong in jail, but a liar and a sex offender belonged in the White House.
19. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag, transvestites, and bestiality should be constitutionally protected, and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.
20. You have to believe that illegal Democratic Party funding by the Chinese Government is somehow in the best interest to the United States.
21. You have to believe that this message is a part of a vast, right wing conspiracy.
22. You have to believe that it’s okay to give Federal workers off on Christmas Day but it’s not okay to say “Merry Christmas.”
Ready to vote in November?

7 Responses to “22 Ways To Be A Good Democrat”

  1. BayAreaDM Says:

    YAWN. More lame stereotyping of political parties. Hopefully the writer is being a satirist, especially in his or her use of “have”. Whether it be Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, or whatever, this type of chasm-creation is what has gotten this country in the worst shape ever, both domestically and globally. Jon Stewart was right.

  2. Shan Says:

    Personally, Stephen Colbert is my hero.

  3. BayAreaDM Says:

    Hey – we have something in common! Who woulda thunk?

  4. BayAreaDM Says:

    Wait…I’m assuming you know that Colbert is definitely a satirist.

  5. Shan Says:

    I do. I also know he is a christian, Sunday school teacher. The fact that he points out the silliness of politics is what I love about him. ALL politicians lie. It is like air to them. Colbert and Stewart just make it funny.

  6. BayAreaDM Says:

    I’m not sure when politics became a game where elitists lie, cheat and steal in order to create the illusion of serving the common person. I blame Reagan!

  7. BayAreaDM Says:

    Wait..a Sunday school teacher? I won’t hold that against him.

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