Self Pity ain’t so Pretty

February 9th, 2007

Self PityIf you know me or have been reading this blog, you know that I have been training for 6 months to run the AT&T Austin 2007 Marathon. I have been running 4-5 days a week through 90+ degree late summer days or 34 degree cold winter mornings. I wanted to get under my 5 hr. 13 min. time from my first marathon in 2004. I have been training and have felt “right”. I am..well…WAS ready.

I ran 10 miles last Wednesday. During the run, I got a strong pain in my left hip joint. I felt excruciating pain. Tears in my eyes, “What the heck!”, sort of pain. I had to walk 3 times to get home. That is something I never do on a long run.

I took some Ibuprofen, put on some Biofreeze, and rested for several days. I ran 7.7 miles on Sunday. OUCH! The pain, the pain, the pain. Ok…rest a few more days.

I ran 5.5 miles on Tuesday. Pain, pain, pain. Ok, this is NOT working. I told my husband and he said: “I had a feeling that you weren’t healed.” I came to the realization that I can’t run the 26.2 miles. I can’t even run 13.1 right now. I hurt. I ache.

I wrote to the marathon people explaining my EXTREMELY DIFFICULT decision to withdraw from the race. I also asked for my $80 entry fee back. I was very sad to hear that they do not give refunds. No matter what. I BEGGED them to reconsider (after all, we are a one income family and $80 is groceries for a week or more). No way, lady. We just don’t do it.Pelvis picture

It would appear now that I have purchased an $80 marathon t-shirt. Wow. I think that is the most expensive t-shirt I will ever own. I have to admit that I am not thrilled with the prospect of watching the evening news next Sunday. Seeing the race results and hearing how great the event went will add to my already foul mood.

I have learned a valuable lesson with this “set-back” though. Life isn’t predictable. No matter how much you think everything is going right, it can always change. You then have two choices. Wallow in self pity & loathing (and start drinking heavily) or dust yourself off and roll with it. I am rolling with it. Okay, I was tempted to drown myself in a case of K Hard Cider a few days ago, but I am over that now.

So, if you see me on the street wearing an expensive looking t-shirt, it was. It cost me $80.

One Response to “Self Pity ain’t so Pretty”

  1. Joyce Says:

    I am enjoying reading your web site. It makes me feel at home. I share some of your thoughts however; I am not as eloquent in expressing my ideas. I heard a Christian speaker say “you can be powerful or you can be pitiful the choice is yours.” While most of us would select the powerful path that self pity like to sneak in and try to rule the moment. I can easily be overwhelmed with the amount of work I have to do with my job but some days I need to shut up and just do it.

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